I believe in individual freedom, man...

Change of scenery

Mon, 11 Apr 2005 22:26:12 GMT

I can't bring myself to delete it, so I'm just 'leaving' this journal.
And deleting the others.
I think I've added everybody on my friendslist to the new journal, which by the way is skadefryd

Fri, 08 Apr 2005 02:23:55 GMT

Sommartid
Jag är tystnaden och vinden
Mitt land är ditt land, allt är fritt
Sommartid
Jag är lyssnaren som, som tårar
mot din kind
Min dröm är din...

Så länge hjärtat mitt slår
så minns Jag dig när
Du stack ett hål i min Kevlarsjäl
Och så blev Du mitt sår
och Jag blöder ihjäl
Kom gör ett hål i min Kevlarsjäl

Sommartid
Var är hjärnan, här är våldet
Mitt land är mitt land bara mitt
Sommartid
I Socialstyrelsens folder
är allt svart & vitt
Din dröm är min...

Så länge hjärtat mitt slår
så minns Jag dig när
Du stack ett hål i min Kevlarsjäl
Och så blev Du mitt sår
och Jag blöder ihjäl
Kom gör ett hål i min Kevlarsjäl

Så länge hjärtat mitt slår
så minns Jag dig när
Du stack ett hål i min Kevlarsjäl
(Min dröm är din nu...)
Och så blev Du mitt sår
och Jag blöder ihjäl
Kom gör ett hål i min Kevlarsjäl

(Din dröm är min nu...)

Så länge hjärtat mitt slår
så minns Jag dig när
Du stack ett hål i min Kevlarsjäl
(Min dröm är din nu...)
Och så blev Du mitt sår
och Jag blöder ihjäl
Kom gör ett hål i min Kevlarsjäl

-Kent-

Det er er snålt hvordan denne sangen er like fin hver gang jeg hører den.
Og hver gang minner den meg om forskjellige personer, steder eller hendelser.
Det er som oftest litt trist, men på en slik god nostalgisk måte.
Så tenker jeg på at jeg skal kontakte folk.
Men jeg kommer meg aldri så langt :)

Thu, 07 Apr 2005 23:54:19 GMT

Reading my journal, from day 1,

I don't know how to explain it, but as I started reading this entry I started crying. And stopped at the last word.

"De La Morte Noir wrote,
2002-01-15 10:44:00
Current mood: guilty
Current music: Nikka Costa - Push & Pull

Spent most of last night at the hospital. She had already fallen into a coma when I got there. I've never seen a person in coma. It wasn't at all what I thought it would be like. I tried to breath for her. I wanted her back.
She's gone now..."

It's just crazy.

Thu, 07 Apr 2005 14:12:52 GMT

I feel sick.
I've had a headache for the last three days. My nose is running. And well, my whole body actually feels like a wreck.
Of course I got the call while sleeping. Work work work.
The only thing I really want to do is crawl back into bed. But I feel like I owe them, for taking those 4weeks of.
And I need to grab the hours I can get, cause honestly, I'm afraid there won't be too many of them in the future.
There's so much happening. I'm completely dizzy.
First of all I'm really worried about my work situation. And I'm starting to wonder if it would be best to start looking for another job.
I don't know anything anymore. I can't keep waiting for someone to ask me to work, two hours before the shift starts. Not only because it's annoying, but it's..I don't know what it is. But it doesn't work.
Ok, I don't have kids to feed and I don't own a car or a house, but I still have bills and I need to know that I will have enough shifts each month, so I can make enough money to pay them.
And I don't anymore. Nothing is certain.
Then there's the drivers license I have to finish by the end of 2005. If not, I'll have to do it all over again. Thousands I cannot afford.
And the exam.
And things I won't even begin to explain.

I'm just ready to jump out the window.(of course I won't, but you get the point, I'm frustrated)

It felt so good in Thailand.
Having it all at distance most of the time.
And I wish I could just pack my bags and stay away.
But the mind travels with you.

Tue, 05 Apr 2005 13:51:02 GMT

Fremdeles ingen lønn. Masse regningar som sko vært betalt for x antall dagar siden. Eg får vondt i magen.
Og vil helst bare gå å legga meg igjen.

Tue, 05 Apr 2005 02:48:55 GMT

Tiå flyr når en lage system.
Nå tar eg meg ein dusj, også takke eg for meg.
Sov godt alle.

(eg får forresten fira og ett halvt tusen tebake på skatten, så all tiå eg har brukt te å bekymra meg for baksmell va jo bare tull og bortkasta. Så bra:)

Eg e i litt godt humør tror eg.
Kanskje overtrøtt?

Sun, 03 Apr 2005 21:44:28 GMT

Begynne å fatta at det ikkje e så greit å ikkje ha studiekompetanse.
Og eg vil ha det. Sånn at eg kan gå på kjekke skolar ittepå.
Men det e jo så dyrt at det gjør vondt i sjelå.
Einaste eg kan komma på e Danielsen i Bergen. Men selv om skolen e billig så blir det dyrt uansett, for Bergen e dyrt..
Dumme dum.

Dessuten så fant eg ein cd på jobb i dag, mens eg leita itte Portishead cd'ane mine. Ein sånn brente parteimix så me pleide å hørra på når me sko ut itte jobb.
Nostalgien har tatt meg.

Sun, 03 Apr 2005 13:38:06 GMT

I need a plan.
Evil, devious, gruesome plan.
A plan that will get me to Roskilde.
But I don't know how to be evil, devious and gruesome.
And I don't want to.
But I think I have to, if I want to sit my ass down in the grass and stay there drinking beer for a week, talking about all the concerts I should see.
Work was more fun when I didn't have to do it, and when I didn't give a **** about the place where I worked.
But this is such a small place, and you get to know your boss more like a friend than an employer.
And I don't have the heart or the nerves to ask her about this festival.
The sad thing is, I'm going back to my old job, which is only every other weekend and one day during the week. So it would only be 1 day or 4 days off I would have to ask for.
And it could easily be fixed, if it's my weekend. Cause I could work two weekends straight instead.
But I'm too scared to ask.
And I sooooo want to sleep in that filthy tent!

Sun, 03 Apr 2005 12:09:25 GMT

Eg vil spisa komla!

Sat, 02 Apr 2005 17:29:26 GMT

Alkoholfri jentekveld med rødvin, øl og "eksotisk" mat. (Eg like ikkje ordet eksotisk, for det får meg te å tenka på erotisk, og erotisk e i og for seg bra, men eg har ikkje lyst å sei det høgt. For selv om meiningen e bra så e ordet ganske ubehagelig. E-ro-tisk- E-ro-tikk. Litt bedre med den tikk'en på slutten faktisk.)
Poenget va at det blir sikkert gøy.
Men nå må eg på jobb ein liten tur, før eg kan kosa meg i Persille og Mary Jane sitt selskap.

Sat, 02 Apr 2005 12:44:13 GMT

I think my mother has to be the kindest person in the world.

Just got back from Bellevue.
Now I have to go back again, cause I forgot to fix the telephone thingy.
It's not that far. But it's boring.

And I just saw something disturbing but funny :)

Thu, 31 Mar 2005 17:10:24 GMT

I don't like my apartment anymore.

Wed, 30 Mar 2005 12:19:57 GMT

Ehm..
Eg sitte i sofaen min og humre og ler litt for megsjøl te Kristian Valens nye musikkvideo.
Kose meg rektigt faktisk.
Og ka e det eg ser?
Ja, det stemme. Skonå mine! Og de hadde helar på og skinnet va sikkert fint og kvitt.
Det føltes nesten som et hån når eg tenke meg om.
Nå tror eg faktisk eg stikke på Oasen og kjøpe meg nye.
Ikkje faen om hu ska få ha de, når mine e ødelagt.
Også vil eg ha Madrugada cd'en. Også vil eg bruka skonå eg kjøpte i går, som eg egentlig kjøpte før eg reiste og.
Så får det heller værra så som så med mat og sånn denna mnd'en:)

Mon, 28 Mar 2005 21:24:17 GMT

There's this old pretty house, just renovated a few months ago, right across the park.
It's big but not too big, and it has a garden(not too big either) and it's old (like I already mentioned) and it's purple inside.
And I want to live there.
I'd bring it to another city though.
Maybe Stavanger, so cinderelli could have one floor, and I could have the other.
I imagine there's two floors.
Or maybe someplace else. But then I'd like to keep it to myself.
Maybe New Orleans.

Sun, 27 Mar 2005 22:32:27 GMT

Mouthful of cavities
Your soul's a bowl of jokes
And everyday you remind me
How I'm desperately in need
See, I got alot of fiends around
And they're peaking through nothing new
They see you
They see everything you do
Seeing everything on the inside, out
Oh, please give me a little more
And I'll push away those baby blues
'Cause one of these days this will die
So will me and so will you
I write a letter to a friend of mine
I tell him how much I used to love to
watch him smile
See I haven't seen him smile in a
little while
Haven't seen him smile in a little while
But, I know you're laughin' from the
inside out
Laughin' from the inside out
I know you're laughin' from the
inside out
Laughin' from the inside
From the inside
From the inside
From the inside
From the inside out

-Blind Melon-

Sun, 27 Mar 2005 10:43:07 GMT

For min egen referanse: Sutrekopp!

Ellers e klokkå 12.40. Eg ska snart på jobb. Der ska eg værr te rondt 20.00.
Øynene mine står nesten ut av hodet. De e litt hovne ja.
Og det va siste gången Kristine drakk dagen før jobb.
Det va siste gång for ein del andre ting og, men spesielt detta med drikking.

Takk for meg.

Fri, 25 Mar 2005 22:18:34 GMT

Eg e lei meg eg altså.
For ingen som helst grunn.
Det e litt teit.

Men i dag(og i går) e eg glad i jobben min igjen.
Så lenge det vare:)

Sun, 13 Mar 2005 15:09:31 GMT

Hello.

I want Dolly pizza.
I want a pink motorbike. (and matching helmet)
I am a power ranger.
Simon and I have seen the thickest, darkest thai jungle you could ever imagine.
"danger! danger!"(with Australian accent)
I felt like Indiana Jones, even though it's a tourist thing with a trail and occationally a rope to hold on to.
We've been to restaurants at the beach where you can lay down on pillows and they play funky music and you can drink wine at look at the stars and listen to the sea. "beautiful!"(also Australian accent)
I held a cutie petutie monkeybear with big eyes and I have a polaroid to prove it.
I miss you much.

Wed, 23 Feb 2005 08:41:26 GMT

Today is the day!
I'm going to have a shower now. Pack the rest of my stuff.
Meet my mother.
Then I'm off to London.
Kisses all around.
And take good care of my shoes Silje:)

Mon, 21 Feb 2005 23:54:00 GMT

Salmiakk eller klor?
Eller plumbo?
Eller begge deler?
Vet at jeg ikke kan bruke både salmiakk og klor for det er fy fy, men hva med plumboen?
Spennende.

Sun, 20 Feb 2005 00:20:22 GMT

Nå har eg jobba i 9 grusomme timar og har så lyst på sjokolade at det gjør vondt i tennene.
Gonatt.

Sat, 19 Feb 2005 13:42:19 GMT

Only two more days of work and two days of nothing before I'm on my way to London.
Maybe one of the nothing days will be a washing of the apartment day...It should be.
Then there's one day in London, and I'm off to Bangkok. And other places.
And I won't be home for a month.
And when I do get back home, it's almost spring :)
And almost spring is almost summer. And everything is much more fun in the summer.

If I can only get through work today and Sunday, and the shots on Monday, I will be a very very happy girl.
I'm exhausted from work yesterday though.
Probably because of the concert at byscenen.
I honestly think I haven't had that many people wanting a table and not getting one on a Friday night before.
Every day should be like that.
But with more staff.

I would kill for a chocolate now.
And I have to get ready for work.
Bye bye.

Thu, 17 Feb 2005 00:42:35 GMT

Four piles of clothes.
And one for the shoes.
I'm not good at packing.
I can't decide what to bring. What I need.
I should've made a list weeks ago, like I usually do.
I think I need everything :)

Thu, 10 Feb 2005 14:10:42 GMT

This house is on repeat.
The music.
The answer.
The fake.
The feeling.

Maybe on Saturday I'll take the walk that I've been postponing for a few years.
And then go back to continue this masquerade.

Wed, 09 Feb 2005 23:08:39 GMT

How To Disappear Completely by Radiohead

That there
That's not me
I go
Where I please
I walk through walls
I float down the Liffey
I'm not here
This isn't happening
I'm not here
I'm not here

In a little while
I'll be gone
The moment's already passed
Yeah it's gone
And I'm not here
This isn't happening
I'm not here
I'm not here

Strobe lights and blown speakers
Fireworks and hurricanes
I'm not here
This isn't happening
I'm not here
I'm not here

------------------------------------

I don't have the words.
My heart feels heavy.
I don't want to feel this anymore..

I'm going to lock my door.